Fly Like a Butterfly...an Orange One!

It's been months since my last post and I'm pretty sure I've covered every topic known to man.  What makes today the day I choose to write again? Today I'm going to fly like a butterfly...an orange one! Months ago I wrote a blog about life's addictions.  Today is similar.  My silence has been kept for years in fear of I'm not quite sure what, but does anyone know what silence gets you? Just that, silence.  It doesn't bring awareness to the fact that so many people, majority being teens, struggle with this.  One in twelve people struggle with self harm.  Did you hear me? ONE IN TWELVE! Think about any teens you know...average about 25 people in their classroom...that's at least 2 kids, not to mention all the adults.  People look at you like your crazy, how can someone do that to themselves they ask.  I ask...how can people over eat? how can people wake up with a drink and go to bed with a drink? how can someone force themselves to throw up? how can you stick something in your body that contains house hold cleaning products and then some? Everyone has different outlets, the question is how healthy are those outlets? Years ago, I sat feeling alone and misunderstood.  I was just a kid, but I was beyond in touch with the reality of my emotions.  The anger, the volitile nature of my outbursts, the sadness....no outlet...so I thought.  I turned to what made me feel better and in an odd (not sick) way pain brought a release.  A release of the burdens that held me down.  For several years I was lost in it...never suicidal...just needed the release of pain and this way no one got hurt but myself.  I rose above for years and then fell short again, because you see, that's the cycle of addiction.  If you don't work a program and don't surround yourself with postive, uplifting and trustworthy people you get lost again.  My downward spiral was a quick learning experience to evaluate the "triggers."  How disturbing of me to let some meaningless trigger be my trigger.  I AM BETTER THAN THAT! I don't need to convince anyone I am, just myself.  I have found those people in my life who understand they will never understand.  I have found those people in my life who have struggled themselves and do understand.  I love my family and friends for this.  Like any addiction, this too, is a daily struggle.  Little things can set off the feelings and emotions, but you, ME, we CHOOSE to rise above.  I've got God on my side and he gave me a voice for the world to hear.  We all get lost and need redirected.  Don't judge a book by it's cover people! I have one heck of a story, just as many other people do.  What a blessing it is when they choose me to share it with.  So today, smile at those who pass, tell those you love how much you appreciate them.  Notice people! Today and every day after I WILL rise above and beat the nature of this beast and I will carry all those who need me with me, because without them, I have no story to share. Today and always....FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY...AN ORANGE ONE!