Well it seems to have been like a million years since my last posting, so this is highly likely to just be a cluster f*** of a blog...Raleigh started kindergarten today...she is so excited about school and I am so excited for her, but it was one of the hardest drop offs ever! My baby, all grown up! She is unbelievable smart so I know she will do well and I look forward to her finding a place in this world. Not only did she start school, I made the decision to go back as well. So, therefore, today marked my first day of school as well. I think I was more nervous about it all then Raleigh...actually I know I was. Anyways, life is constantly changing and staying the same all at once..how does that happen? My friend sent me a post today telling me how proud she is of how far I've come over the last 2 years...2 years! Wow! Life was so different then and I was struggling beyond explanation. I have found a happiness that I don't know I believed would ever happen for me, and I know some wish wouldn't happen for me. I didn't find it alone though. I walk hand in hand with God everyday to stay steady and my family and friends have supported me all the way. And my daughter, well hence the song reference..she's my hero...I know she feels what I feel and poor girl is just as emotional as me. We steady each other at the same time we collide with each other. Each day I find myself looking towards the future and determining the best ways to prepare for what's in store. Do I know exactly what's in store? Well no, but I do see the path God is laying in front of me...Things are changing and ideas and beliefs are changing...I'm learning from my past decisions and my past attitudes..working hard on my patience level, working hard on letting things be on God's time, working hard to not anger easily and to think before I speak. Working hard to accept that some people will never see my personal growth and to be okay with that. Learning that I can't continue to let people run my life, or attempt it....Learning that all I can do is keep hoping and praying for people and trusting that one day they'll see me as God sees me and as those who love me see me. As a person who is trying to better their life for themselves and their child. As a person who has learned from the past and works daily to let it go and use it as a lesson, not a mistake. Back to my little one...well we are growing and learning together...we dance in the kitchen, we giggle and play...I teach her and she teaches me...I do see for my future and hers a larger family unit and as we build on that we are going to keep dancing to "her song..."
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