It seems here lately I lay down and my mind just races with everything that I need to do...I'm still fairly new to my job and even though it's flexible in the hours, it is definitely non stop. I'm always thinking of things that I need to do...people to e mail or text, places to go, things to look up...All this definitely makes it hard to sleep...the lack of sleep I have been experiencing is just never good...gets you to thinking about other aspects of your life, the choices you've made, the choices you should have made, etc....well it definitely makes me think of some things or shall I say a thing that is constantly haunting me...how do I let go? I'm reminded regularly about a choice that was made...made as a good decision, but........
Talking to someone is an option, I guess...but who do you go to? who do you trust? I know I am not alone in this situation, that someone else may have made the same choice...I wish it could just be forgotten, but that's not how life nor this world operates..."You can't run from your past" people will say...I'm not, but must I be constantly reminded of some things that have happened? I wanna let it go, be done with it, move on....
Will the lack of silence in the silence ever go away?...Will the pictures in a dark room ever disappear?...I know I don't technically ever want to forget you, the choice I made, but I want you to take a sabbatical or something for a minute...give me some space, let me breathe...You, my choice, will always be a part of my life, but God I'm asking that you take my choice out of my dreams, my constant thoughts, etc. Maybe God, you have begun that process by shining light on someone who....I don't know....just thank you...And God, may I work even harder to let this go and give it to you!
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