Hiding behind a smile is what I do best....most days. No one sees what happens when I'm laying in bed in the quiet not talking to anyone. And I even do my best to hide the tears over the phone. The battle between my heart and head is always constant, daily battling each other over every life matter. What is right? What is wrong? Turn left or turn right? Eat that? Don't eat that! Buy this or not? Stay or go? On and on and on and on.....The skeletons in my closet, even though most are not hidden away from the world, are busting through the door weighing heavy on my heart and heavy on my mind. I have a story to tell and I try to tell it when I can, but in the process you get those who are family etc who don't want others to know just really how messed up you are and those who just think you are full of shit and that your story would never compare to theirs. By the way, I don't want to compare to "your" story, mine's sick enough! Then even though I wanna say everything, I can't because some people don't know everything, mainly out of protection of their own mind. Then you meet the new people and you have decide just how soon you share your story. Some say certain things are better left unsaid, some say wait until you "really know someone"....by the way what the hell does that mean?....Others say the past is the past and don't dwell on it....I don't dwell on my past, I just know that my past is what has taught me so many lessons in life and without the learning experience my world would be so different...so as decisions of life haunt me so does my story.....
There's a random post for you....welcome to my brain!
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